Year One: What Motherhood Can Teach You

Okay, so I am horrible at blogging, just horrible. I try to be consistent and as you can see it only lasted for like 3-4 months! So, I decided to try it again....

Rae is one now, one whole year of my life dedicated to this little girl! It still feels surreal that I'm a mom, but it also feels like the longest year of my life! I have learned a lot of good things and grown in several ways, but I also still feel discouraged about a lot of things that I'm still struggling with. Today I want to focus on the ways I've learned and grown:

1. Somehow the Lord has shown me how to accomplish the goals I have set for myself and want for myself. The Lord knows my goals and knows my talents. He has commanded us to share and use our talents, so why wouldn't he help me accomplish them? Those things don't stop when you become a mom. I am still Charlie and I still want to do, and see and learn things.
Result: I've sewn, scrap-booked, run half-marathons, baked, created websites, hung out with friends (which is very important), begun writing a book, hosted play groups, and hopefully a service group.

2. I have goals and had goals. My goals are just different. Before I met Steven, I was planning a completely different life for myself. I didn't know when and if I was going to get married. I was going to go to grad school for Athletic Training, then maybe work for a college team. I wanted to travel more, way more. I wanted to also become a certified teacher. Now, realistically, I can't be an athletic trainer and the kind of mom I want to be, while having kids, until they are grown. I don't want to just wait around til they are grown to set goals for myself. I still have great goals, they're just different.
Result: My biggest goal. I'm hoping to go to grad school to one day open my own non-profit organization.

3. I believe motherhood is one of the ways we can become like Christ. I have dedicated my life to this little girl for YEAR, a whole Year! I feel like I've dedicated my entire life. I do everything for her. If I don't, she dies. It's that simple. I believe that serving her is a huge part of the reason that I love her so much. How could I not? She is most definitely my (and steven's) creation. (with some assistance from The Lord). If I feed her lots of sugar, she gets diabetes. If I don't feed her enough, she loses weight. I make her who she is. Everything that we put effort to in life, is something we love or are passionate about. The Lord dedicates His life and has given His life for us! When I serve this little girl, I get a glimpse of what it means to be like Christ. To truly be in the service of others.
Result: A great love and appreciation for my Savior, and trying to share that Christlike love with others, AND a whole lotta love for my little girl.

4. You can't sweat the small stuff. You just can't. You will drive yourself crazy doing it. I feel like I have lightened up a little, but still have a long way to go. Having a kid is whole hecka lotta work! Other things can and will fall through the cracks.
Result: My house stays messy for a day. or few.

5. I believe that we are all here to create families. Get married, have children. Our Heavenly Father wants us to be with Him, forever. All of us. He loves us so much, that he created families so that we would have that help, love, and support system to get there. He needs us to have good, strong families.
Result: I know that I am doing what the Lord wants and needs me to do. AND I will probably have more children. probably.

6. Life was never hard before having kids. I don't know why I ever thought life was hard before having a kid. I believe we all struggle with our own personal trials even those who don't have kids. However, for me, life was just not that hard before I had Rae. A "hard" day in the past was like 10x easier then it is now. I don't know why, and I don't know why someone didn't stamp that on my forehead. My definition of a hard day has completely changed. If Rae is still alive at the end of the day, its probably a pretty good day. Or if I didn't want to run away, it was probably a good day.
Result: I try to be more positive.

7. Believe it or not, which you may not if you were here the first 5 months of Raelyn's life, I DO love my child. I love to watch her grow. She makes me laugh everyday. And I tear up with joy when something makes her really happy. I miss her when I'm gone, well if its more than 5 hours, and I'm excited to see her when I come back. For all the struggling new moms out there, you will love him/her one day.
Result: She loves me back.