Enjoy!
Monday, September 29, 2014
Brain Damage
I thought I would share a little funny video today! I have always loved Bill Cosby and I love him even more now that I can relate to his parent jokes!
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Myth Busted: I'm "just" a mom.
I would like to bust a myth. The myth that I am "just" a mom.
Yes, I am a stay-at-home mom.
Yes, My first priority is my child.
Yes, I talk about her a lot.
Yes, sometimes she is the only person I talk to all day.
BUT
I am still an individual who has a life with my own goals, trials, heartaches, and talents.
As a society moms are often looked down upon or put on a lower pedestal than a woman working toward a degree, in medical school, or making 100,000+ a year. "Your "just" a mom because you couldn't possibly do anything else with your life" or "your "just" a mom, what do you do or know about anything?" There are many theories of why people think this way. I have narrowed it down to a few myths people tend to believe.
THE MYTHS:
1. Moms couldn't possibly have time for anything else other than being a mom, so that's all they do. 2. Being a mom is a think-less job.
3. Moms are moms because they weren't qualified or motivated enough to do anything else with their lives.
4. Life couldn't possibly be that hard because Moms stay at home all day.
THE BUSTED MYTHS:
1. Yes, it is hard to find free time as a mom, and yes it is something that I struggle with, BUT I DO find it. I am a mom, and I strive to be a good one, BUT I also have hobbies, goals, and talents. I'm still the same person I was before having a baby. In my free time I work on art, crafts, scrap-booking, running, blogging, etc.. Some moms go to work, others stay at home, some sell their crafts or art online, some write, give service, or fulfill a need in the community. We are not JUST moms. We are not only making a difference in our children's lives but those around us as well. If someone asks me what I do, I say I'm a mom. The conversation usually stops there. A good follow up question for this would be: what do you enjoying doing? What are some of your hobbies? what projects are you currently working on? (most moms have one)
2. Speaking of "just" being a mom. When did this word "just" get put in front? As if being a mom WERE a think-less job. "Oh, that's ALL you do". If being a mom were a think-less job, there would be way less crime, hate, and abuse in the world. Being a mom is hard work. If I'm sick, I STILL have to get out of bed. I don't get to call in sick. I plan my baby's whole day: when she eats, what she eats, how much she eats, when to sleep and for how long, I make sure she gets her daily exercise, bath, play time, learning time, t.v. time, and love time. I change her diaper at least 5 times a day. I have to discipline her; No, don't touch that, eat that, throw that, spit that, touch me, or hit me. If she wakes up in the middle of the night, I'm there. I clean up toys, splattered food, throw up, and spit up. I have been more exhausted sometimes after a full day with her then after working a 12 hour shift. And I've done both! Since when did pushing a human being out of you and then raising them for life become "just" some job?
3. Believe it or not, I am the same individual now that I was before I had a child. Now, of course we all change and grow up, as I have previously acknowledged, but I'm still Charlie. I don't disappear because I have kids. I still dream, I still have things I want to accomplish for myself and for my family. I still enjoy hanging out with friends, having a good time, and seeing a movie. I still push myself to be a better person and disciple. I have talents that I work on and some that I want to develop. I went to school. I got a degree. I've worked to earn a living. I did a study abroad program, I've had several job opportunities, I've met all kinds of people, made all kinds of friends and had all kinds of experiences. Yes, these have prepared me to be a mom, but they also make me the person that I am. I didn't give up a career because I wasn't qualified or motivated, I gave it up because I chose to stay at home with my kids. Don't write me off because I have kids. I am still a person, and I can still DO things.
4. I have often heard and talked to moms who have been a working mom, and then later made the decision to stay at home with their kids. A lot of these moms say staying at home was harder. Now, I'm not saying that this is always the case nor am I saying that working moms don't have it hard, cause they do. What I AM saying is that being a stay-at-home mom isn't always sunshine and puppies. It is hard work! (as explained in #2) It is my career. A very much underpaid career, BUT a career nonetheless. It is a struggle, but one that I endure because I know that I can make a difference in my children's lives and, consequentially, a difference in the world.
For all I know I could be raising the next Sheri Dew, Marjorie Hinckley, Oprah Winfrey, Mother Theresa, Michelle Obama, or Sheryl Swoops. Haha, :)
Yes, I am a stay-at-home mom.
Yes, My first priority is my child.
Yes, I talk about her a lot.
Yes, sometimes she is the only person I talk to all day.
BUT
I am still an individual who has a life with my own goals, trials, heartaches, and talents.
As a society moms are often looked down upon or put on a lower pedestal than a woman working toward a degree, in medical school, or making 100,000+ a year. "Your "just" a mom because you couldn't possibly do anything else with your life" or "your "just" a mom, what do you do or know about anything?" There are many theories of why people think this way. I have narrowed it down to a few myths people tend to believe.
THE MYTHS:
1. Moms couldn't possibly have time for anything else other than being a mom, so that's all they do. 2. Being a mom is a think-less job.
3. Moms are moms because they weren't qualified or motivated enough to do anything else with their lives.
4. Life couldn't possibly be that hard because Moms stay at home all day.
THE BUSTED MYTHS:
1. Yes, it is hard to find free time as a mom, and yes it is something that I struggle with, BUT I DO find it. I am a mom, and I strive to be a good one, BUT I also have hobbies, goals, and talents. I'm still the same person I was before having a baby. In my free time I work on art, crafts, scrap-booking, running, blogging, etc.. Some moms go to work, others stay at home, some sell their crafts or art online, some write, give service, or fulfill a need in the community. We are not JUST moms. We are not only making a difference in our children's lives but those around us as well. If someone asks me what I do, I say I'm a mom. The conversation usually stops there. A good follow up question for this would be: what do you enjoying doing? What are some of your hobbies? what projects are you currently working on? (most moms have one)
2. Speaking of "just" being a mom. When did this word "just" get put in front? As if being a mom WERE a think-less job. "Oh, that's ALL you do". If being a mom were a think-less job, there would be way less crime, hate, and abuse in the world. Being a mom is hard work. If I'm sick, I STILL have to get out of bed. I don't get to call in sick. I plan my baby's whole day: when she eats, what she eats, how much she eats, when to sleep and for how long, I make sure she gets her daily exercise, bath, play time, learning time, t.v. time, and love time. I change her diaper at least 5 times a day. I have to discipline her; No, don't touch that, eat that, throw that, spit that, touch me, or hit me. If she wakes up in the middle of the night, I'm there. I clean up toys, splattered food, throw up, and spit up. I have been more exhausted sometimes after a full day with her then after working a 12 hour shift. And I've done both! Since when did pushing a human being out of you and then raising them for life become "just" some job?
3. Believe it or not, I am the same individual now that I was before I had a child. Now, of course we all change and grow up, as I have previously acknowledged, but I'm still Charlie. I don't disappear because I have kids. I still dream, I still have things I want to accomplish for myself and for my family. I still enjoy hanging out with friends, having a good time, and seeing a movie. I still push myself to be a better person and disciple. I have talents that I work on and some that I want to develop. I went to school. I got a degree. I've worked to earn a living. I did a study abroad program, I've had several job opportunities, I've met all kinds of people, made all kinds of friends and had all kinds of experiences. Yes, these have prepared me to be a mom, but they also make me the person that I am. I didn't give up a career because I wasn't qualified or motivated, I gave it up because I chose to stay at home with my kids. Don't write me off because I have kids. I am still a person, and I can still DO things.
4. I have often heard and talked to moms who have been a working mom, and then later made the decision to stay at home with their kids. A lot of these moms say staying at home was harder. Now, I'm not saying that this is always the case nor am I saying that working moms don't have it hard, cause they do. What I AM saying is that being a stay-at-home mom isn't always sunshine and puppies. It is hard work! (as explained in #2) It is my career. A very much underpaid career, BUT a career nonetheless. It is a struggle, but one that I endure because I know that I can make a difference in my children's lives and, consequentially, a difference in the world.
For all I know I could be raising the next Sheri Dew, Marjorie Hinckley, Oprah Winfrey, Mother Theresa, Michelle Obama, or Sheryl Swoops. Haha, :)
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Year One: Part II, Things I still struggle with
Part II
Although I have learned and grown a lot over the past year, I have also struggled and continue to struggle with certain aspects of being a mom: (If anyone has or had similar trails and struggles, please share.)
- I don't like being alone. Let me rephrase. I HATE being alone. At least 3 times a week I'm at home by myself for a major part of the day. Steven works and goes to school, so some days I don't see him until late at night. I try to make meaningful connections with those around me, but I still find days where I'm alone with my thoughts. My thoughts are not good to me.
- I don't feel very productive or accomplish some days. I could clean my whole apartment, feed, clean, and watch a baby, budget our money, run, AND make dinner and I still feel unaccomplished. I try to make a to do list so that I can check off and see all the things that I've done. I also try to report all the things I do to my husband. I think a big reason for this is that half the things I do are seen by no one and no one outside my family depends on me. Half the things I do can be put off until tomorrow.
- Sometimes I miss doing what I want when I want to do it. I miss spending almost all my time with Steven, going on vacations, having extra money, staying out late, and running an errand that takes 10 minutes, to only take 10 minutes. I hate that sometimes I get caught up in thinking about the past, and how much easier things were back when. I usually kick it out of my head now, but it still pops up every once and a while.
- It scares me to think of having more kids. I'm still afraid to have more kids. I know that I will, and I feel like I will, but it still scares me. I never wanted my kids to be very far apart in age, but now I try to measure how far apart I can make them while still being in the same decade. I feel as though I can barely handle one. How am I suppose to handle 2? Let alone, 3?
Looking back on Rae's first few months, I know that I have improved on these things. However, I also thought that by a year, I would be over these things. This has discouraged me the most. I was expecting to be somewhere as a person and mother, and I'm not. It is an ongoing trial for me. I find and pray for ways to improve all the time. I know that I'm where the Lord wants me to be, which gives me the hope and courage to press on, especially on days that I'm really struggling.
Although I have learned and grown a lot over the past year, I have also struggled and continue to struggle with certain aspects of being a mom: (If anyone has or had similar trails and struggles, please share.)
- I don't like being alone. Let me rephrase. I HATE being alone. At least 3 times a week I'm at home by myself for a major part of the day. Steven works and goes to school, so some days I don't see him until late at night. I try to make meaningful connections with those around me, but I still find days where I'm alone with my thoughts. My thoughts are not good to me.
- I don't feel very productive or accomplish some days. I could clean my whole apartment, feed, clean, and watch a baby, budget our money, run, AND make dinner and I still feel unaccomplished. I try to make a to do list so that I can check off and see all the things that I've done. I also try to report all the things I do to my husband. I think a big reason for this is that half the things I do are seen by no one and no one outside my family depends on me. Half the things I do can be put off until tomorrow.
- Sometimes I miss doing what I want when I want to do it. I miss spending almost all my time with Steven, going on vacations, having extra money, staying out late, and running an errand that takes 10 minutes, to only take 10 minutes. I hate that sometimes I get caught up in thinking about the past, and how much easier things were back when. I usually kick it out of my head now, but it still pops up every once and a while.
- It scares me to think of having more kids. I'm still afraid to have more kids. I know that I will, and I feel like I will, but it still scares me. I never wanted my kids to be very far apart in age, but now I try to measure how far apart I can make them while still being in the same decade. I feel as though I can barely handle one. How am I suppose to handle 2? Let alone, 3?
Looking back on Rae's first few months, I know that I have improved on these things. However, I also thought that by a year, I would be over these things. This has discouraged me the most. I was expecting to be somewhere as a person and mother, and I'm not. It is an ongoing trial for me. I find and pray for ways to improve all the time. I know that I'm where the Lord wants me to be, which gives me the hope and courage to press on, especially on days that I'm really struggling.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Year One: What Motherhood Can Teach You
Okay, so I am horrible at blogging, just horrible. I try to be consistent and as you can see it only lasted for like 3-4 months! So, I decided to try it again....
Rae is one now, one whole year of my life dedicated to this little girl! It still feels surreal that I'm a mom, but it also feels like the longest year of my life! I have learned a lot of good things and grown in several ways, but I also still feel discouraged about a lot of things that I'm still struggling with. Today I want to focus on the ways I've learned and grown:
1. Somehow the Lord has shown me how to accomplish the goals I have set for myself and want for myself. The Lord knows my goals and knows my talents. He has commanded us to share and use our talents, so why wouldn't he help me accomplish them? Those things don't stop when you become a mom. I am still Charlie and I still want to do, and see and learn things.
Result: I've sewn, scrap-booked, run half-marathons, baked, created websites, hung out with friends (which is very important), begun writing a book, hosted play groups, and hopefully a service group.
2. I have goals and had goals. My goals are just different. Before I met Steven, I was planning a completely different life for myself. I didn't know when and if I was going to get married. I was going to go to grad school for Athletic Training, then maybe work for a college team. I wanted to travel more, way more. I wanted to also become a certified teacher. Now, realistically, I can't be an athletic trainer and the kind of mom I want to be, while having kids, until they are grown. I don't want to just wait around til they are grown to set goals for myself. I still have great goals, they're just different.
Result: My biggest goal. I'm hoping to go to grad school to one day open my own non-profit organization.
3. I believe motherhood is one of the ways we can become like Christ. I have dedicated my life to this little girl for YEAR, a whole Year! I feel like I've dedicated my entire life. I do everything for her. If I don't, she dies. It's that simple. I believe that serving her is a huge part of the reason that I love her so much. How could I not? She is most definitely my (and steven's) creation. (with some assistance from The Lord). If I feed her lots of sugar, she gets diabetes. If I don't feed her enough, she loses weight. I make her who she is. Everything that we put effort to in life, is something we love or are passionate about. The Lord dedicates His life and has given His life for us! When I serve this little girl, I get a glimpse of what it means to be like Christ. To truly be in the service of others.
Result: A great love and appreciation for my Savior, and trying to share that Christlike love with others, AND a whole lotta love for my little girl.
4. You can't sweat the small stuff. You just can't. You will drive yourself crazy doing it. I feel like I have lightened up a little, but still have a long way to go. Having a kid is whole hecka lotta work! Other things can and will fall through the cracks.
Result: My house stays messy for a day. or few.
5. I believe that we are all here to create families. Get married, have children. Our Heavenly Father wants us to be with Him, forever. All of us. He loves us so much, that he created families so that we would have that help, love, and support system to get there. He needs us to have good, strong families.
Result: I know that I am doing what the Lord wants and needs me to do. AND I will probably have more children. probably.
6. Life was never hard before having kids. I don't know why I ever thought life was hard before having a kid. I believe we all struggle with our own personal trials even those who don't have kids. However, for me, life was just not that hard before I had Rae. A "hard" day in the past was like 10x easier then it is now. I don't know why, and I don't know why someone didn't stamp that on my forehead. My definition of a hard day has completely changed. If Rae is still alive at the end of the day, its probably a pretty good day. Or if I didn't want to run away, it was probably a good day.
Result: I try to be more positive.
7. Believe it or not, which you may not if you were here the first 5 months of Raelyn's life, I DO love my child. I love to watch her grow. She makes me laugh everyday. And I tear up with joy when something makes her really happy. I miss her when I'm gone, well if its more than 5 hours, and I'm excited to see her when I come back. For all the struggling new moms out there, you will love him/her one day.
Result: She loves me back.
Rae is one now, one whole year of my life dedicated to this little girl! It still feels surreal that I'm a mom, but it also feels like the longest year of my life! I have learned a lot of good things and grown in several ways, but I also still feel discouraged about a lot of things that I'm still struggling with. Today I want to focus on the ways I've learned and grown:
1. Somehow the Lord has shown me how to accomplish the goals I have set for myself and want for myself. The Lord knows my goals and knows my talents. He has commanded us to share and use our talents, so why wouldn't he help me accomplish them? Those things don't stop when you become a mom. I am still Charlie and I still want to do, and see and learn things.
Result: I've sewn, scrap-booked, run half-marathons, baked, created websites, hung out with friends (which is very important), begun writing a book, hosted play groups, and hopefully a service group.
2. I have goals and had goals. My goals are just different. Before I met Steven, I was planning a completely different life for myself. I didn't know when and if I was going to get married. I was going to go to grad school for Athletic Training, then maybe work for a college team. I wanted to travel more, way more. I wanted to also become a certified teacher. Now, realistically, I can't be an athletic trainer and the kind of mom I want to be, while having kids, until they are grown. I don't want to just wait around til they are grown to set goals for myself. I still have great goals, they're just different.
Result: My biggest goal. I'm hoping to go to grad school to one day open my own non-profit organization.
3. I believe motherhood is one of the ways we can become like Christ. I have dedicated my life to this little girl for YEAR, a whole Year! I feel like I've dedicated my entire life. I do everything for her. If I don't, she dies. It's that simple. I believe that serving her is a huge part of the reason that I love her so much. How could I not? She is most definitely my (and steven's) creation. (with some assistance from The Lord). If I feed her lots of sugar, she gets diabetes. If I don't feed her enough, she loses weight. I make her who she is. Everything that we put effort to in life, is something we love or are passionate about. The Lord dedicates His life and has given His life for us! When I serve this little girl, I get a glimpse of what it means to be like Christ. To truly be in the service of others.
Result: A great love and appreciation for my Savior, and trying to share that Christlike love with others, AND a whole lotta love for my little girl.
4. You can't sweat the small stuff. You just can't. You will drive yourself crazy doing it. I feel like I have lightened up a little, but still have a long way to go. Having a kid is whole hecka lotta work! Other things can and will fall through the cracks.
Result: My house stays messy for a day. or few.
5. I believe that we are all here to create families. Get married, have children. Our Heavenly Father wants us to be with Him, forever. All of us. He loves us so much, that he created families so that we would have that help, love, and support system to get there. He needs us to have good, strong families.
Result: I know that I am doing what the Lord wants and needs me to do. AND I will probably have more children. probably.
6. Life was never hard before having kids. I don't know why I ever thought life was hard before having a kid. I believe we all struggle with our own personal trials even those who don't have kids. However, for me, life was just not that hard before I had Rae. A "hard" day in the past was like 10x easier then it is now. I don't know why, and I don't know why someone didn't stamp that on my forehead. My definition of a hard day has completely changed. If Rae is still alive at the end of the day, its probably a pretty good day. Or if I didn't want to run away, it was probably a good day.
Result: I try to be more positive.
7. Believe it or not, which you may not if you were here the first 5 months of Raelyn's life, I DO love my child. I love to watch her grow. She makes me laugh everyday. And I tear up with joy when something makes her really happy. I miss her when I'm gone, well if its more than 5 hours, and I'm excited to see her when I come back. For all the struggling new moms out there, you will love him/her one day.
Result: She loves me back.
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